How to look real awesome in every picture.

September 10, 2015  •  4 Comments

We've all been there.  You're just relaxing, having a day,  when all of a sudden up pops a notification. "BFF added 3 photos of you" READ: "EX-bff posted the three worst pictures of you in your life and now all 10 million Facebook people have seen it and you should probably just delete your account".  


OK fine that may sound a little dramatic, but for those of us suffering from FOFT {Fear of Facebook Tagging} it's legit.  But this bothers me because I love pictures!!! And as someone who documents the most precious of life's moments, I understand how important it is to have these pictures.  Whether they are on Facebook, or Instagram or {hopefully} framed and hanging on walls, having these memories around are our legacy. They are the proof to our children that we were once real cool.  They are what makes us smile when we are missing our loved ones. They are the start of "...OMG remember that time?!" So I decided one day that I really need to get over this feeling of hating pictures of myself.  I had to, because I loved the memories that they brought back but the cringing inside of me every time had to go.  


So I tried to find my "side".  Both sides seem to look the same.  I tried different poses, but constantly trying to pose in a half bent over - chest out - weight on the back leg - half smile - left eyebrow up wasn't always appropriate for candid moments.  And then one day it hit me.  I realized what I was doing and how to change it for the better.  When I would look at photos of myself I immediately looked for my insecurities to see how obvious they were.  Or maybe they were covered up by the wonderful mayfair filter?  Or worst of all exaggerated by the unflattering lo-fi. But when I look at any one else's pictures I look at the whole thing, I don't zero in on what could possibly be their insecurities, because I don't know what they are.  So instead I see the beautiful smile,  the gleaming eyes, the glowing cheeks.  So solution. I began to close my eyes before I looked at photos of myself, and make the deal that when I opened them I wasn't going to look immediately to all of those bad things I felt about myself, but instead look at the "big picture" if you will -terrible pun I'm very sorry-.  And you know what?  It really worked!  I was shocked at how I saw the beauty of the situation around me, instead of immediately looking for the negative.  And then you know what happened?  I started relaxing around the camera, and I didn't tense up every time the iPhone came out.  And those photos were even better!  So now I no longer need to close my eyes and give myself a pep talk any time there are photos to look at.  Now I can see the same beauty with myself that I see with every other person I photograph.   


**Disclaimer** This is all void for photos taken after 3am on Saturday nights.  


I think this is what has birthed this entire #selfie generation.  We think we need to be in control of every aspect of how we look to other people.  So we post photos that we can take 100 "test" shots before, edit to our liking and then finally an hour later release it to soc-med. But thats just not life.  And its not documenting anything about our life.  Don't get me wrong car lighting is literally the best lighting ever but it's not something we will treasure forever.  So I propose a movement to all suffering from FOFT. Close your eyes, erase those insecurities for 30 seconds and start loving the picture of you that everyone who loves you already sees every day.  Happiness is contagious, so smile more, laugh more, and  put up those pics to spread the love. 



Melissa Culbertson(non-registered)
FOFT-- haha! I agree with you-- it's easy to see our flaws but it's the big picture that matters.
This is awesome! I was like omg I will learn how to look amazing...and then you got me! :) Thanks for the kick in the ass!
Lydia Dickson(non-registered)
I definitely need to remember this since I take more pictures of myself than I used to for my blog!
Olivia Youngs(non-registered)
This is such a well written and beautiful post! Thank you for sharing. I'm always amazed at how quick we are to jump on our own "flaws" when we hardly notice the same thing in others. I love your challenge to close your eyes first. This was inspirational.
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